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Posted by   website: www.withgreatmercy.com

Because loss is such huge subject, I want to write about it for a while. Today I'll try to tackle one of it's sub-topics: disability. It's a topic I can really get fired up about.

Disability benefits are necessary for some people with facial pain. This is true for people with trigeminal neuralgia, orofacial pain, neuropathic facial pain, and face pain that has been named something else. I don't have to tell my readers why their pain causes dsyfunction and disability. They already know. Let's talk about what happens when we are forced to explain it to someone who has not experienced it.

No one - absolutely no one - wants to have facial pain. I have talked to hundreds and hundreds of people. They're all interested in one thing: "How do I get rid of this?" So if you are going through a disability application process, whether private or through Social Security - you'll be asked to explain how your pain affects your ability to work. It's a fair question. But the answer isn't fair.

Most people with facial pain do everything they can to make their lives as normal as possible, as enjoyable as possible. Those of us who understand that a mind-body connection (and that's MOST of us) exists want to think about things that encourage us to keep going. We want to think about the wonderful things we still have, even if the wonderful thing boils down to the fact that we are still alive.

So what happens with the time comes to explain the pain to people who review disability claims? We have to reach into our minds and think about the loss, the things we cannot do but would like to do. We have to remember that once we identified highly with our jobs and our ability to perform. Whether we are in the business world, teaching a class, or counseling others, work is all about fulfilling expectations. To walk away from something that fuels our self-esteem and bolsters our identity is devastating. We lose a part of ourselves. We also lose income.

I have spoken with many people who have lost their jobs, their homes, their medical benefits, their spouses, their self-worth. The list of losses goes on and on. Let's get even more personal: they've lost their ability to kiss, to speak, to chew, to swallow, to concentrate, to remember important things, to brush their teeth. It's difficult to stop naming the losses.

If people are trying to cope with everyday life, chances are their losses don't live on the tips of their tongues. People who have pain are either trying to maintain their ability just to get through the day or trying to move on with their lives. Why bring up the losses that cannot be changed? Because we have a valid claim that we must substantiate.

The thing I hate about the disability benefit process is that we have to justify being sick. It's much healthier for us not to think about it and to focus on the good things in life. But to get the money - which we deserve - we have to think of our worst case scenarios and expose our vulnerabilities. It's just not good for us.
We're putting ourselves out there to be judged. It's frustrating and causes feelings of guilt and helplessness. We've already experienced these feelings because of the pain. Now here they come again as we try to justify our needs. With the explanation emerges the feelings we try so hard to suppress.

We feel so alone, like failures. But we aren't either one of those things. We are coping with something many people are afraid to understand. They don't want to let it sink in. After all, could it happen to them? Will they take the chance to identify with your situation? Probably not. You already know this, don't you?

There's a time and place for everything, something else you already know. The time to make the loss and the pain clear is during the disability application process. It's not fun to share the pain. It's going to feel crummy, but you're surviving the pain, and you'll survive this process.

I'd love to hear from you, about your losses. It may help others if you post them here on this blog entry, too. God bless you and may you regain what you have lost.

For more information on loss and disability issues, please visit my website: www.withgreatmercy.com Posted by

I tried to comment, but it doesn't seem to be working... or it's gonna post 5 times. Anyway, wow.. thanks for writing this. I just stumbled upon this post while I was searching for information about disability and TN. I was lying on the floor using my phone, but couldn't comment from it... I wanted to comment and bookmark this page so badly, that I actually got up and went to my PC. Not much motivates me to get off the floor as I'm sure you can relate too, with the whole TN mess. I'm crying reading this post. I've been turned down by SSDI twice and I finally had a hearing on 8/23/2012. Delaware is a difficult place to be awarded SSDI and I'm terrified right now. I've been told that if you meet certain criteria, that you qualify and the judge can't deny you... I just hope this is true. I've lost everything I own. I've had help paying for my medical needs, but that's coming to an end too. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say here, I'm just scared.

My dear friend, "Ryno".


Ryan Neal Weiss

November 5, 2010, of Newark, DE. Beloved husband of Kimberly Ann (nee Stone) Weiss. Dear father of David Stone Weiss. Devoted son of Edmond and Beverly (nee Eisenberg) Weiss. Cherished brother of Mindy Weiss Friedman. Adored grandson of Gloria (the late Daniel Eisenberg) Aaron, Sandra Weiss, and the late Harry & Hilda Weiss.

Ryan was a graduate of Wilmington University, a broadcaster who worked most of his career at Comcast, a member of the New Castle County JCC, and an accomplished musician/ composer.

Relatives and friends are invited Sunday beginning 9:15 am to PLATT MEMORIAL CHAPELS, INC., 2001 Berlin Rd., Cherry Hill, NJ where funeral services will begin promptly at 10 am. Int. Shalom Mem. Park. The family will return to the home of Edmond & Beverly Weiss.

Contributions may be made to Compassionate Care Hospice of Wilmington DE, 19805.

Ryno and I at his benefit show, July 3, 2010.


I Love Me Some... Queen!

Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle, bicycle, bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like

You say black, I say white
You say bark, I say bite
You say shark I say hey man
Jaws was never my scene
And I don't like star wars
You say rolls, I say royce
You say God give me a choice
You say Lord, I say christ
I don't believe in peter pan
Frankenstein or superman
All I wanna do is

Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle, bicycle, bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my,
Bicycle races are coming your way
So forget all your duties, oh yeah!
Fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today
So look out for those beauties, oh yeah!
On your marks get set go

Bi-cycle race, bi-cycle race, bi-cycle race
Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle,
I want to ride my bicycle
Bicycle, bicycle bicycle (I want a)
Bicycle race.

You say coke, I say cain
You say john, I say wayne
Hot dog, I say cool it man! don't wanna be the President of America
You say smile, I say cheese
Cartier, I say please,
Income tax, I say Jesus.
I don't wanna be a candidate for Vietnam or Watergate,
Cause all I wanna do is
Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle
I want to ride my
Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike,
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like.

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/q/queen/#share


I love this picture...

My beautiful sister Teresa and her cute little rat, Lemmy.




Aug. 1st, 2010

"It's in the key of Slayer..."

LOL Cat From Matty

Matty sent this to me yesterday...
We are raising money for my friend Carolyn, who has atypical trigeminal neuralgia, a rare, chronic type of severe facial nerve pain. She has had eight unsuccessful brain surgeries so far, but a very rare brain surgery, Descending Tractotomy of the Trigeminal Nerve, has been offered that we hope will give her some relief from the pain. She badly needs financial help for trip expenses from Georgia to Pittsburgh and lodging.  Please click on the link below to send a donation straight to Carolyn's Paypal account.  If you can not use Paypal, please contact me and I will provide you with Carolyn's home mailing address.  Any amount will help.


Her disease has no known cure, limited options for treatment, and is nicknamed the "suicide disease," as it is considered the worst known pain to modern medicine. Carolyn has suffered with this for 21 years. Her best hope right now is an uncommon brain surgery suggested by the world-renowned neurosurgeon Dr. Peter Jannetta. This procedure will cause loss of movement and feeling in her left arm and the left side of her face, but Carolyn considers this a small price to pay for relief from pain. She sees him on July 20 at Allegheny Hospital. She has good insurance but cannot afford the expense of lodging and travel. This is critical for the future of her and her family of husband and son. Any amount will help.

The Passing Of Ronnie James Dio \,,/

It is so sad that Ronnie James Dio passed away on Sunday.  I've been listening to his music since I was 9 years old.  I really wish I could go to his memorial service in California, but that's impossible.  He had such an amazing voice and is definitely one of my most influential singers.  I am in awe by how many individual music artists and bands that have made statements about his death.  He is loved and will be missed  by an indefinite number of people. 


Legendary Heavy Metal Vocalist RONNIE JAMES DIO Dies - May 16, 2010
Wendy Dio, wife/manager of legendary heavy metal singer Ronnie James Dio (DIO, HEAVEN & HELL, BLACK SABBATH, RAINBOW), has released the following statement to BLABBERMOUTH.NET:

"Today my heart is broken, Ronnie passed away at 7:45 a.m. [on Sunday] 16th May. Many, many friends and family were able to say their private goodbyes before he peacefully passed away.

"Ronnie knew how much he was loved by all.

"We so appreciate the love and support that you have all given us.

"Please give us a few days of privacy to deal with this terrible loss.

"Please know he loved you all and his music will live on forever."

It was only a month ago that Dio, 67, spoke about his battle with cancer with the Artisan News Service on the "black carpet" of the Revolver Golden Gods Awards, which took place on April 8 at Club Nokia in downtown Los Angeles. When asked about how he had been feeling since he was diagnosed with the disease late last year, Dio said, "Well, I feel good and bad at times. It's a long process. Chemotherapy is a... I never realized what a difficult thing it was to go through. It's a real cumulative effect — the more you have, the more it piles up on top and it takes longer and longer to get over it. I find it very difficult to eat. I don't like to eat anyway, so I guess that's OK. But I know I have to. But this makes it very, very hard. But if you're determined to beat it, then you have to go with what you believe is going to beat it for you, and in this case it's that. I go to a great hospital in Houston called M.D. Anderson, which I think is the best hospital in the world, I have the best doctor in the world, Dr. Ajani, who I really trust and I really believe in, so I think I've done all the right things. It makes me feel positive about my life and positive that there is a lot more of it to live."

Earlier this month, HEAVEN & HELL canceled its summer tour plans in Europe due to Dio's treatment for stomach cancer. The band said in a statement that Dio wasn't "well enough to tour this summer. We hope that everyone understands and want to thank fans and industry colleagues for their continuing support at this time."

Born Ronald James Padavona in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Ronnie James Dio had performed with ELF, RAINBOW, BLACK SABBATH, and his own band DIO. Other musical projects included the collective fundraiser "Hear 'n Aid". He is widely hailed as one of the most powerful singers in heavy metal, renowned for his consistently powerful voice and for popularizing the "devil's horns" hand gesture in metal culture. He was most recently involved with HEAVEN & HELL, a project which also included former BLACK SABBATH bandmates Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler and Vinny Appice. Their first and only studio album, "The Devil You Know", was released on April 28, 2009.

In April, Dio appeared at the Revolver Golden Gods Awards in Los Angeles to accept the award for "Best Vocalist." As members of ALICE IN CHAINS presented the award to him, the crowd chanted, "Dio! Dio! Dio! Dio!"

"We'll know for the first time if we're evil or divine, we're the last in line..."

Memorial Service:

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